Halahal is described as contaminating everything it touches... And poison itself recognizes that it cannot contain itself. And yet i continue to ask for both equanimity & tasthata Mahadev....
Let me know what needs done without me losing sense of fairness and kindness both no matter how the world has treated me ... both good and worse
When i churn deeply both this society and my own consciousness, i don't necessarily get amrit first...
What do I do with that has emerged now Prabhu...nobody else wants to partake in this??
It remains at my throat...I'm eager
to express it and yet I cannot without contemplation, just like you did...
Vish kantha mein,
Mere Shiv sthira hai.
You are laughing at me Prabhu?
U say "Your turbulence does not have to disappear for you to become peaceful"
Cruel you are Karunanidhan!!
I am standing right here in front of
you as my body is in the fire of anger, pain, uncertainty, exhaustion...as
fear coils around me like a serpent.
You stand there like a coach, see me struggle...you have more faith in me than I have on myself it seems...you say calmly "don't kill the serpent, don't deny it either ..master it, integrate it, constain it"
I close my eyes red with the poisonous fumes of disrespect from the world and i whisper almost to the silent throbbing cosmos... "I will not allow what happens to me to determine the state of my consciousness.. I will not ask for victory, I will not bend myself in revenge.. I will hold what comes without becoming it"
And just like that the coil eases around me (atleast for now)...
I continue to pray...
"May the serpent of
circumstance coil around me,
may the poison rise,
may the ocean churn—
but may I learn to sit at the centre
of it,
still.
Not numb.
Not indifferent.
Not resigned.
Still."
तटस्थता · समत्वं
· शिवः
Taṭasthatā · Samatvaṃ · Śivaḥ
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